Moving Forward: We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

When I was younger, I thought passion for learning meant I already knew a lot. I was opinionated, full of energy, and quick to share my views. My dad would often say: “Carine, you don’t know what you don’t know.” At the time, I found it frustrating. Now I see the wisdom in his words.

Not knowing what we don’t know is a form of “blind spot.” Rafael Echeverria puts it simply:

“If we don’t accept that we don’t know, learning cannot happen. When we don’t know that we don’t know, the space for learning is not available.”

Real learning begins when we’re willing to question what we think we already know, when we let go of old assumptions and open ourselves to new possibilities.

Getting Off Auto-Pilot

We all have default ways of interpreting life and automatic ways of responding. These patterns come from our upbringing, culture, and experiences. They’re useful until they’re not.

When life throws something new our way, whether in work, relationships, or the world around us, our usual “auto-pilot” can fall short. The ground shifts, and we’re left feeling uncertain or even threatened.

But here’s the gift: those moments of doubt are the very place where deeper learning begins.

Observing Our Interpretations

Alan Sieler, a leading voice in ontological coaching, reminds us that the most powerful form of learning comes from observing our own interpretations and then being able to shift them.

Why? Because the way we interpret a situation shapes the way we act in it. If we can’t see our interpretations, we stay stuck. If we can see them, new choices and possibilities open up.

Beginning With What We Don’t See

R.D. Laing captured this beautifully:

“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change, until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”

The more I lean into this truth through coaching, the more I notice fresh perspectives becoming available, and with them, new ways of moving forward.

An Invitation

So, where in your life might you be holding on to “what you know” and missing what you don’t yet see? What interpretations could you begin to question?

Sometimes, the most powerful step isn’t doing more, but noticing differently.

If you’d like to explore this kind of learning, I’d love to connect. It all begins with accepting that we don’t know what we don’t know.

Until next time, Carine

Coaching is an ideal context to unlock learning that continues long after the conversation ends.